Well, well, well (deep subject)

by Denise

So, Ruler is one of the gifts that I was told I might be...

Really, I guess until I get back into community/serving and see how my "less broken" self actually functions, it's still hard to tell.
As with all the gifts, there are traits that I've participated in and some traits that I feel I relate to and always a couple of just "NO" ones.

Like... ruler "Does not ask “why” questions."

hummmm... why would anyone not ask why? I may not ask it to your face out of respect but God hears that word a lot... "but WHY did I feel/act/do that?", "why would that happen that way?" - "buy WHY??? " and how... "why? why?why? ... I wanna know!" ... or sometimes just "WHAT?????" ... when I think why is none of my business. Sometimes I stuff it and don't ask because I'm afraid to know... but the why was still there.

I guess there are situations where "why" isn't necessary and I wouldn't ask... probably because I already think I know the answer...

Anyway, I have a plan to sit down, once we are finished, and lay out all these list side by side and compare to see which ones have the most "no's" and "yes's" and "I have no clues" ...
I know God knows, I know He has a plan for when, where and how He will show me. I'm just grateful for this opportunity to learn about all the gifts.

I start back teaching this week, I'm going to try asking God what gifts some of them have and then look for the traits that match. The hard part is that I'm at two schools, have over ~450+ kids and I only see the kids once a week so getting to know them takes awhile. ... but some gifts stand out more than others so I should be able to figure some of them out.

Thanks Lois for continuing to march forward dragging this "I DON'T KNOW" person along. I really appreciate it!

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Sep 05, 2016
key of music
by: lois

awareness is the first key. so kudos for being so aware of what is going on. only then can you get a handle on how to move forward.

have you listened to 'Office of Personhood'. that is another excellent tool to explore who we are and what brings you pleasure. (a potential future study group??)

with all our 'training and programming' to act a certain way, God was there first and the data is in our spirit. may he draw it out!

in the meantime (cuz that's where i live) enjoy him. so if i may ask, what key of music do you enjoy him in?

Sep 05, 2016
Thank you
by: Denise

Thank you for the prayers.
I've used both resources, but haven't finished the dys one yet... Honestly, consistency is an issue.

I think I need to get the blessings of job cd. That sounds like it might help in other areas and that would help in this one.

I really think the healing, though it's come a Loooong way, still has a ways to go until my true identity comes shining through. I've been trained to "act" (conform/fit it) to those around me for so long that I don't know what is really me or not. If you ask me if I enjoy something, I'm bound to say "well, I'm good at it", or "it's ok", but I probably like the fellowship of doing better than the "doing".

I'm a lot better with not conforming to the world, I've got a handle on that... But what about those Christians... Sigh.

I've basically disconnected from community, and some days that is really a hard/lonely place to be. Even so, I know God has a plan, I trust Him and I'll keep moving forward... Even if it's just in micro steps.

Yes, prayers are appreciated. Thank you!

Sep 05, 2016
not alone
by: lois

there are two other tools you can look into if you like.

Redemptive Gifts Test / Developing Your Spirit

(links are on the RGI CD 1 page- added bonuses)

read thru the first and see if that helps and also the second, DYS, is now a free audio download. so highly recommended.

i was able to spot my RG with very little kuffuffle. (did i just make up that word??) but i can imagine working it out can take time and skill.

so great job for persevering. i am hoping to tack one more week onto this study at the end, to brainstorm together.

i appreciate you 'showing up' and doing the work, Denise. you are definitely NOT alone in your search. will be praying..

: )

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