having kept a record of much loss and devouring it is easy to scan for more to come. it is also a terribly draining way to live. this IS how i lived for a long time. my experiences played out over and over again leaving me with a big deficit. how life giving to know God has a plan. a plan to restore the years the locust have eaten. one of redemption and pay back and compensation. i am in a retraining mode to see what is not yet there and to focus on all that God has done not on what is still lacking.