relationships and seasons
chapter 5

Chapter 5, Relationships and Seasons, starts off with a quote from CS Lewis. It was the tragedy of his mother's death which caused a great loss of security.

When you are disconnected to time, you lose the continuity of experience. You can no longer access past emotions to help you bridge the good that you had been living and the bad which is present with you now. Any number of things can be the trigger for this feeling but it is especially pronounced in the area of relationships.

A fractured timeline is like having good and bad islands in that you cannot feel or see anything but the present circumstance.

These two islands of Good and Bad represent how we can experience the ups and downs in a relationship. When things are going good we are up but when the wind shifts and something changes, via a fight or whatever you get stranded on the island of Bad and your feelings plummet. Back and forth you go between these good and bad feelings which leaves you utterly exhausted. Always second guessing if I did something wrong.. is she mad at me? 

It is a lack of perspective that triggers the emotional swing. Someone looking in from the outside can see things more clearly, recognizing the good is not that amazing and the bad not that awful.

The problem for Megan was that she could not access the emotional date base from her past. There wasn't emotional stability from the past to draw from to give her the confidence she needed in the present. You cannot hold an emotional history if you are not connected to it.

And if you do this in relationships then do you do the same thing with God?

Whether it is our relationship with God or people, unless you can access the continuum of history based on character you will disintegrate into distrust and fear.

The most common playing field is seen in relationships but what we have been discussing can show itself anywhere there is a change of seasons.

What helps you bring the present into perspective and enables you to navigate the current challenging season is having access to the emotional data base of the past.

questions to explore

Having read this fifth chapter Relationships and Seasons, what are your thoughts and emotions that bubble up? How do you relate to what is being described?

Identify an important relationship in your life.  How do you respond to the emotional ups and downs in that relationship? 

What is an important anchor point in your emotional database?  Give a short description.

Can you identify with the Good and Bad island picture? You cannot feel or see anything but the present circumstance. What's that like for you?

Can you access the emotional database of the past?  Do you often need reassurance from your friends and family that things are ok? or Do you know people like that? 

How is your relationship with God?  Describe what you see in the context of islands and accessing the emotional database.  Using King David as a comparison, can your dialogue with God resemble a roller coaster?

How well do you handle transitions in life?  Explore two major transitions you have experienced and how they impacted you emotionally.

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