yes, i have been there and done that. i am thankful God knows my heart and works with me to always bring the best outcome to even my worst mess ups. some pain can blind side you from thinking straight. to be fair that is the Job category. can you blame the guy for faulty thinking?
and i have too had faulty thinking because of blinding pain. God gets it. this is in no way to negate the consequences of our actions but it reframes things in such a way that has helped me in time of need.
i had years of lamenting the hurt. and at the end of an exhausting tirade God asked me if i was done. ok. that did not go over well.
but i learned in those years that the thing i was desperate for usually escaped me. like a drowning person who is impossible to save, i needed to calm down to receive from God. and i did. and we put things right.
just a snippet that might encourage you to God's openness to engage us where ever we are at, even with the judgements made against him.
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